Why do I feel so alone and sad?
This question is commonly asked by many single people who find themselves feeling lonely and empty when not in a relationship.
About 45.2% of American residents of above 18 years of age are single. While some people stay single by choice, the majority are as a result of because of break up, divorce, or death of a partner.
People react differently to being single: While some feel happy, comfortable and live a happy life, others can’t withstand being single and are often lonely.
Are you alone? Keep reading to learn how to appreciate being single without feeling lonely.
Why Do I Feel So Alone When Single?
Feeling alone when single is a normal feeling. However, entertaining this state of mind can easily lead to stress and depression. The good news is that loneliness can be overcome to allow the sufferers to live a normal life. Here is what you need to do to beat loneliness.
1. Build a Positive Mindset
You can build a positive mindset through:
l Learning to Appreciate and Embrace Being Single
You should celebrate your single life and never give loneliness the chance to rule over your life. Many women are single and living life to the fullest!
Furthermore, being single comes with numerous benefits such as the following:
- You are free to choose what to do and where to live.
- You are free from the stress and problems that come with relationships.
- It allows you to focus on your professional and life goals first without having to compromise on your happiness.
Check out this page and learn more about how single Christian women can embrace and celebrate singleness to overcome depression.
l Reaching Out to Loved Ones Whenever You Feel Lonely
Having good times with friends can give you the same satisfaction you are missing from a relationship. Singlehood allows you to spend time with friends and develop a relationship that can even last all your life. A trusted friend or close relative can listen to you and calm you whenever you feel down.
l Developing the Habit of Keeping Your Surrounding Clean
A clean environment brightens your mood and keeps your mind fresh. Dirty surrounding discourages interactions with others. It can stop you from inviting friends and colleague to your house.
Thus, you’ll use it as an excuse to keep yourself locked into your room and keep other people off your life. Furthermore, the cleaning activities will keep your mind busy making you momentarily forget your problems.
l Exercising Regularly
A brief burst of exercises raises your heart rate, increases breathing rate and blood flow. The surge of oxygen to your brain stimulates your body and improves your mood.
l Spending More Time Outdoors
When was the last time you went for a movie or shopping or took a walk? Spending time outdoors helps relieve stress, improve mood, and boosts your happiness and wellbeing.
l Finding a New Hobby
Join clubs, read books, participate in sports, etc. A hobby will not only keep your mind occupied, but also brighten your mood.
l Owning a Pet
A pet can increase your social connection. When you are walking your dog in the neighborhood, people are more likely to say hello or start a conversation. You may end up meeting the man of your dreams through these interactions too!
2. Build Your Social Confidence
Here are some of the things you can do to build your social confidence.
- Avoid negative thoughts that give rise to insecurity. Don’t think you aren’t good enough or there is something wrong with you. Don’t dwell on past failures. Accept that you can’t change them
- Embrace vulnerability. A romantic relationship doesn’t require you to be perfect. Being honest and open up about your vulnerability will make you bond with other people. Once you accept your weaknesses, work on how you can change them.
- Take some healthy social risks. Try new things that you shy away from doing. For example, you can start up a conversation with someone sitting next to you in a restaurant.
- If you are uncomfortable with awkward silence, asking a question will keep the conversation going. People enjoy talking about themselves. Therefore, asking people questions will keep them talking as you listen.
- Learn to take your confidence-building step by step. For example, begin by waving or smiling at your neighbor, and then introduce yourself the next time you see them.
Remember, confidence doesn’t appear overnight, so be gentle and patient with yourself as you give these a go.
3. Meet New People
Start by joining a new social group where you have similar interests with the other members. For example, if you are a novel writer, join a Facebook group of fellow writers and talk about everything related to novel writing. When you share common interests, it is easier to make a conversation and have a good time.
Another way to meet new people is to volunteer for a charitable course. Volunteering helps you connect with like-minded people, boost your happiness, and improve your social and relationship skills.
You also have to let the relationships to form on their own. Relationships are not supposed to be rushed — they should be treated with patience and given time to develop a solid foundation.
4. Go on Dates
As you meet new people, you should be open to going on dates. However, before you start dating, there are some considerations to make:
- Be honest about why you want to date people. Let your potential relationship partner know what you are looking for in the relationship.
- Set realistic expectations and proceed slowly as you aim at building a connection with someone.
- Allow the relationship to develop without preconceived notions.
While you do this, you can even set up a profile on online dating sites and explore something new.
5. Talk to a Mental Health Professional
If you try all the above steps and you still feel lonely, it is time to book an appointment with a therapist or a psychiatrist.
A cognitive behavioral therapist can help you identify and change the thought processes causing your loneliness. A therapist will also help you avoid the habits that led you to this dark place and propose new ones to promote liveliness and joy.
If You Still Feel Lonely…
Remember, being single is normal and should be embraced. Everyone feels lonely sometimes, but this shouldn’t be the source of your stress. Loneliness can easily lead to depression; thus, concentrate on other areas of your life to develop multiple sources of fulfillment.
With these tips, the question “Why do I feel so alone?” will be a thing of the past. Check out our blog for more tips on how to beat loneliness and develop a thriving lifestyle.
I am Amilia ,a mom who loves a simple lifestyle.I have many hobbies including gardening,home decorating and traveling.This is my place to share all about my life adventures.